Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Helen: A Story of the Sea


The Helen: A Story of the Sea

“Sanity is madness put to good uses. Waking life is a dream controlled.” - George Santayana

She stood on top of a voluptuous hill, a light breeze beating against her white linen gown. She stood there with her arms open wide. Her fluid white hair rode the gentile breeze. Every blade of grass danced around her like a uniformed waltz.  She stood superimposed in front of an intense moon whom’s beauty paled in comparison to her own. Her soft tone bellowed his name.

“Maddox” the name echoed in his skull, “Captain, please.”
Now he stood there with her, their hands locked. He could really see her now, he could really feel her. Her face felt just as he remembered and for a moment, all was right. But he knew it was too good to be real.
“It’s not time yet, Maddox.”

Blood began pooling from her eyes and flowing down those soft cheeks. Now it rained and just like every time, she crumbled in the wake of the storm, carried away by the wrath of the winds and water. His own tears became indistinguishable from the rain.

He knew it was impossible to avoid real life forever. To his misfortune, Maddox woke up to discover himself massaging some course facial braids of one of the crewmates.

“Mornin’ Cap’n, been callin’ yer name for a solid five minutes oi’ve been. Glad to see you made yerself at home on me face, must ‘ave been quite the dream” said Grunt, spraying Maddox with a little bit of spit with every annunciation. His faux glass eye rolled around and rattled within an empty eye socket. 
“Damn Grunt, do you ever brush your teeth?”
“Nawt since me land fairin’ day’s mate” he stated with a decaying grin.
“It’s early, spit out what you’re tryin’ to say. But not literally, and if you can’t help it then do it in that direction” scoffed Maddox, pointing away from his face in all directions.
“Oi Cap’n, a beautiful sea maiden dun washed up on the deck, she did. Kindah exciting if ye ask me. Beautiful face, nice round bosoms” Grunt snarled, laughing feverishly while releasing a putrid smell from the depths of his mouth.
“Please get out of my face, mate. Give me a few and I’ll be out.”

Grunt exited the room and Maddox took a long look at himself in the gold-framed mirror on his white oak wardrobe. He combed his golden hair to the side and trimmed his goatee. He suited up in his typical captain attire, an outfit that commanded authority and respect. He left his cave to greet this new visitor. 

            She was soaked from head to toe. Her white, torn dress still dripped and exposed many of her lovely features. She stood next to the mast of the ship with her hands tied and head down, refusing to reveal her face. Her brown hair hung clumped and draped in front of her. The crew drooled over her like dogs while they sat waiting for the command of their faithful Captain, Maddox Dranger.

“Found her floatin’ on nothin’ but a piece of plywood, Cap’n” rasped Krooks, the elder of the crew.
“Head up, state your name and your business here” Maddox boomed. She picked up her head to reveal her big, green eyes that shone like emeralds.

Her lips were big and blue from the cold waters and resembled tiny plums. She had a complexion that could enslave the soul. She stood and stared at Maddox, their eyes met. She said nothing.

“I said name and business here, dear. I have no problem throwing you back into those tormenting waters.” She contemplated her response for a moment.
“My name is Ligeia, I was taken prisoner from my village by a small group of barbarians with raven-hair and blood red eyes. They roam these seas as we speak. I managed to escape their captivity but they search for me. You see, I am from a family of the highest order in my village and the only one who knows the location of a sacred treasure, tucked away deep in the mountains to the North. I hold the key around my neck” she flashed him the key. “The barbarians want this treasure and will do horrible and gruesome things to obtain it, even the senseless slaughter of women and children. Please help me Captain, please save my life and I will reward you and your crew a portion of the treasure. This is not something that is easy for me to do, but I fear the worst if those men manage to get their hands on the it.”

            Something didn’t sit right with Maddox. Something about the story didn’t add up. He broke eye contact with this stranger of the waters and signaled to Krooks to meet him on the bow.   

            Krooks was an elderly man with many layers of experience. He was as old and wise as the sea itself and had been on the ship long before Maddox assumed the role of Captain. His face was glittered with dark freckles; his hair and beard were white and oily. Maddox frequented Krooks for advice and treated him as if he was his first mate. Maddox stared off onto the horizon to watch the sunset. The sky shone bright purple this evening, with different shades of pink and red painted across the sky. Stars were plentiful around this time. The sea stood calm.


“She’s quite the beauty, Krooks.”
“She’s quite the liar, Maddox. I can see it in ‘er eyes. There’s something gravely off about this one.”

Krooks pointed to the ivory figurehead on the prow. It depicted a beautiful, sharp-toothed mermaid with long, eagle-like wings. Its inanimate wings appeared to flutter in ocean breeze, clearly the work of a masterful artist.

“The siren: a beautiful creature.  Been foolin’ sailors like us for centuries, drawing us in with their beautiful siren songs and fun lady parts. She’ll make you feel special, al’right. Might promise you all the riches in the world. But the moment she captures your heart, she’ll chew it up and spit it out right in front of you… Be careful with this one, Maddox. Don’t be fooled by a pretty face.”

They are standing together on the bow now, watching the sun slowly tuck beneath the ocean’s sheets.

“Aye Krooks, you’re wise beyond your years, I trust your judgment for I feel the same. But did you see that key, Krooks?  It was encrusted with precious stone. It alone is probably worth a fortune!”
“Aye Cap’n. It certainly doesn’t fit some mere makeup box. If this maiden speaks the truth, we could possibly buy enough rum and blow to last us a lifetime!” Krooks reasoned, with a glimmer in his eyes.  “There is fame and fortune to consider, sir, but I trust that you can make the right decision. You are Captain for a reason.”

There was a long moment of contemplation now. The two watched the sun give its last breath as it was swallowed by the darkness.

“Can I ask you something personal, Krooks? Something you of all people would understand?”
“Aye Cap’n.” Krooks has always been a good listener.
“Have you ever stopped to think how REAL we are? How significant our lives, our emotions REALLY are in the grand scene of things?”
“I’m not quite sure I’m followin’ you, sir.”
“I keep having the same dream about her, Krooks. I’ve had one every single night for the last month. I can get close to her, but she slips right out of my hands every time. What’s worse is that I’m happier when I’m with her in my dreams than when I’m here on this hellish boat.” Maddox could feel himself filling with emotion now. “What does this world have for me now. I never even got to say goodbye to her, Krooks. If I could have just been there I could ha…”

“Enough of this bullshit. She was eaten, Maddox! By a fifty foot sea serpent with a million little devil-eyes and teeth that could taste blood from a mile away.  There’s nothing you could have done. Lovely as she may have been, it’s time to move on and focus on the task at hand.”

Maddox felt that he should have been offended by this remark, but couldn’t muster the energy to feel anything other than hungry. He had been mostly bed ridden today and didn’t find the time to eat. A family of Tiger-frogs began swimming alongside the boat. Maddox watched as they swam around and dunked each other under the water in a playful manner.

“Remember, sir, we can only ride the ocean because it is constantly changing its form. In order to keep up with the changing flow of the tides, we must also change. Only then can we find peace within ourselves.” Krooks turned around and began walking back toward the disgruntled crew. “Please come eat, Cap’n, you haven’t had a bite all day.”



Maddox sat at the head of the long, finished, rectangular maple table. Ligeia and Krooks sat on either side of him. Dinner tonight consisted of a medley of exotic fish and white bread. The crew guzzled their brew and devoured the banquet in very short amount of time. They ate like animals being fed at the zoo. Food went flying, songs were sung, beer overflowed from glasses and plates were flung. Maddox peered over to Grunt, who had gotten up on the table with two other shipmates and began drunkenly singing some sailor song. He had a lot of fish guts hanging from his beard dreads now and even what appeared to be a fish eye dangling on his mustache below his one good eye.

  Dinner on the sea was always a very joyful occasion. Maddox, however, was finding his food difficult to stomach tonight. He believed it had something to do with Ligeia. She ate her meal with very few words spoken, most likely overwhelmed by the festivities. Maddox could not place an emotion on her facial expressions though. She seemed neither afraid nor anxious, something you’d expect from a person being hunted by barbarians. Instead she looked perfectly content, smiling at the various antics of the crew. This was unsettling to Maddox.

After dinner, he showed her to her room in the bowels of the ship. The room consisted of a single oval window, which was entirely submerged underwater, and a mattress blackened from years of grime build up. Maddox gave her the proper bedding and a jug of water to get her through the night.

“Pretty quiet down here for the most part. Sometimes you can hear the boiler room cryin’, but it’s there’s nothing more than hot air and rats. No need to be afraid.”

Maddox walked hastily towards the door.

“Gunna lock the door, but that’s only cause I can’t trust you yet.” Maddox opened the door and locked it from the inside.

“Thank you for everything, Captain” she uttered with a tiny smirk on her face. Maddox turned around. She was staring directly into his eyes. “I wish there was a way I could repay you for this kindness” she said as she approached him slowly.

“It’s my pleasure, we can talk about this treasure thing in the morning.” Maddox slowly placed one foot out the door, trying to ease himself out of the room.

“No I don’t think you understand,” she purred seductively, grabbing Maddox by the butt and pushing him in closer to her so that their bodies touched, “I can repay you in treasure, but gold isn’t the only treasure I can repay you with.”
           
            This cliché exchange of words caused sweat to form around Maddox’s lips. Hairs on his neck began standing up in arousal. For a moment, their bodies melted into each other. After a brief intimate moment of kissing and caressing, Maddox pushed her away from him. What kind of monster was he becoming? How could he so blindly cheat on the woman he loved? Was it even cheating? Maddox exited the room without a single utterance, closing the locked door behind him.

Ligeia stared at the door for a moment. She looked into the palm of her hand and smirked a sinister smile, followed by a ghostly laugh. She fit the stolen key into the keyhole and walked into the ominous blackness of the bowels of the ship.



            The ship slept and floated gingerly upon the waves, underneath a cloudy night sky. Not much could be heard at night besides the whistle of the ocean breeze and the sloshing of water against the proud ship. Maddox wasn’t tired in the slightest and had much on his mind. Regardless, he took a pill of his insomnia medication and was knocked out. Grunt and a few members of the crew played gambling games by candlelight in one of the supply rooms. Ligeia walked in on the games and immediately turned around, attempting to exit the room.

“Oy purty lady,” Grunt sniveled, “Got specific ordahs from Cap’n to make sure you be stayin’ in your room, I did. What ‘sa cute lil’ thing loike you doing in this part of the ship, ey?” 

Grunt wiped the spit from his mouth and wiped his hand on his trousers. Ligeia stayed silent, her black hair covering her eyes. The crew stared at her. Grunt’s tone immediately turned to frustration and his once smile had now fleeted from his face.

“OY! Oim tawkin’ to yuh, miss. Yuh wouldn’t be tryin’ to cause some trouble down here now would yuh, miss.” Grunt began pushing her around, passing Ligeia between each member of the crew. Grunt presented a knife to her face. “Now yur gunna do exactly what I tell yuh, understand?”

            Ligeia began laughing the same demonic laugh, staring directly into Grunts eyes. She grabbed his arm and brought the knife her throat. She slit her own throat ever so slightly, gathering the blood from the small incision on her fingertips.  She then proceeded to suck the blood right off her fingers.
           
“Haha, oi think we gawt ourselves a feisty one ‘ere boys!” The crew snickered. Grunt’s laugh sprayed saliva all over the woman’s face. “Don’t worry miss,” Grunt went on to say, “mama nevuh taught me how to be gentile.”

            Grunt’s hand made it below her stomach before she caught it in mid air. In the blink of an eye, Ligeia twisted his arm around and pushed the back of his elbow out, causing the bone to be exposed. She swiftly grabbed the knife, pushed the sailor against the wall and cut out his one good eye, which she then placed in her mouth to show the rest of the crew.  She continued to laugh her horrible laugh. Grunts glass eye spun around trying to escape out of his head as the poor sailor screamed in agony. She slit his throat and then moved on to the rest of the crew.
           
            The screams shook the sand from the eyes of the boat. Their shrills pierced the sound barrier and woke everything up. The crew scoured the ship looking for the woman, following many different trails of blood to find her location. Maddox and Krooks observed the scene where Grunt and crew were brutally murdered. Most of the crew’s hearts had been ripped out of their chests and pierced through a stick. A cucumber had been shoved into Grunts skull where his one good eye used to be. Body parts lay scattered and blood handprints decorated the room.

“How did she manage to get out of her cell?” Krooks remarked, clearly in shock by horrific scene. “In all my years of serving this boat, never have I seen a single woman murder four crew mates.” His voice trembled.

            Maddox checked his pocket for the key to the room. It was missing. Maddox dismissed himself and went back to his quarters. He grabbed a few of the essentials: a small knife, a big knife, his sword, a handgun and a candle. He scribbled a few notes on a piece of paper in his journal and placed the journal in one of the draws of his desk. Now he set out to find the demon.

He traced the blood around the ship and eventually came upon a few more mutilated corpses. Krooks and a few men managed to catch up with Maddox.

“You can’t be serious. Do you expect to kill her on your own? Look what she did to the rest of the crew, Maddox? You think this is a good idea?” Krooks was frantic now. Maddox could see the morale of his crew dying like a simmering flame.

“This is my mistake, Krooks. I can handle this on my own. I think I understand what needs to be done.”
           
            Krooks stood hesitant for a moment. Maddox could have sworn he saw tears forming in his eyes.

“Aye. Aye, Cap’n. Please come back alive.” Krooks put his hand on Maddox’s shoulder. Maddox turned toward the trail of blood that led into the boiler room.

“Men become lost in there, Maddox.”

            The door to the boiler screeched open. Maddox entered the dark abyss and closed the door behind him, gun and lit candle in hand. Then there was silence.




            It had begun to pour outside. The waves rocked the boat ever so slightly now. Inside the boiler room, the monster’s dark laugh reverberated. It seemed that the power had been cut and the only thing illuminating the path was Maddox’s faint candlelight. A breeze blew down the rusty corridor and extinguished the flame. Now Maddox was lost and scared. He drew his firearm and his hands nervously shook as he aimed blindly into the nothingness. He could hear faint cries coming from all around him, as if the demon was attempting to draw him in closer. He started to hear a faint show tune being sung. He could hear himself getting closer and closer to the muse.

Red eyes penetrate the dark veil. The gun was slapped from his hand and he heard it rattle between the pipes and boiler machines, which at that time looked like iron giants. It was too dark to locate the piece so he drew his sword. This was his favorite sword, gifted to him by his sweet. Its golden shaft illuminated the immediate area around him with a false light.

“Oh Captain, MY CAPTAIN. Hehehe.”

            The voice was screechy and taunted him from all corners. From the corner of his eye, he saw the figure perched up on one of the boilers like a gargoyle. The dark figure pounced on him, grabbing him first from behind and deeply scratching his chest. She then began ripping his captains gown with her deathly claws. Maddox began swinging his sword around frantically. One of the swings managed to cut the beast’s leg. An ear splitting screech echoed amongst the iron giants.  The room became cold and quite as the creature retreated back into the darkness.

Maddox could hear familiar footsteps approaching him now. Then a familiar hand reached out. In the faint glow of the sword, Maddox managed to make out the figure. He could recognize those long beautiful tendril-like fingers anyway. Her beauty was unmatched to that of an exotic flower. Her long, white hair managed to sway in a breeze that was non-existent. Her ocean blue eyes walked right through his and stared directly into his soul. Her lips formed a faint smile like the crescent moon.

“I’m here, Maddox. Lets leave this place together, lets get away from all this and build a house on a cliff and smoke fine cigarettes together on our porch that overlooks the sea.”

The woman got closer now. He could smell her essence; it was a sweet familiar smell that filled him with tears.

“But you’re not real. I watched you die… You’re the demon playing tricks on me.”

“None of it matters, baby. Please lets just start over. I can be this girl; I can give you everything you want and more. The real treasure is power, baby, and you and I wreak of it.”

            Maddox smiled. Ligeia smiled. Her claws were beginning to extend from her fingertips and Maddox could feel them piercing his skin ever so slightly. It was a titillating feeling. They kissed for a long moment. Her long, serpent tongue started from the bottom of his neck and worked its way up into his ear. Their clothes slowly began to fall off their backs. The sex was aggressive and beautiful. They swayed and danced like long grass being whipped around by the winds of a tropical storm. They flowed like a brutal tidal wave. Sweat pooled on the ground and the boilers sang louder than ever now. Maddox was close to finishing, but would give this beast no such satisfaction. While she was distracted, he reached for his dagger.

“Agghhhuuuh,” Ligeia grunted, as blood began pooling from her mouth.

Her eyes turned black as the night sky as she jolted for Maddox’s neck with certain electricity. He twisted the dagger deeper and deeper into her heart, or whatever foul organ inhabited the place where her heart should have been. She growled and snarled. She swiped his face with her bird-like claws and extended her wings into the air like the angel of death. Maddox felt her grip weaken around his neck. Swiftly, Maddox flipped over Ligeia and decapitated her with one fell swoop of his sword. Her wings went limp and everything became quiet for a moment. Maddox stared at the head of his decapitated loved one and slid down against the wall until his butt touched the ground. He sighed a sigh of relief.

“Don’t worry baby, we’ll be together soon.”

            Maddox took his glowing sword and slit his own neck. It was a slight pain, but tolerable with the knowledge that it would all be over soon. His vision was getting fuzzy now. He rolled over to look at her once more. Her ocean blue eyes were still staring into his.
Or maybe he was just imaging the blue eyes, maybe the blue eyes were just what he wanted to see, maybe the blue eyes never existed at all. Maddox relinquished his last thoughts. He watched his loved one slowly transform back into the deranged creature that stepped on his ship not even twelve hours ago. The swords faint glow extinguished, leaving the boiler room alone to hiss its solemn song.


           
            Krooks was the first to discover the bodies. Ligeia’s decapitated head lay close to Maddox’s. Her eyes were entirely black and still stared at Maddox’s lifeless body. You could almost see the despicable smirk on her face, still laughing at their faithful Captain. Her black hair lay ragged and messy, almost Medusa-like. His throat was slit and he seemed to have bled out rather quickly.

            The ship carried on. Maddox’s ashes were scattered amongst the waves. He was now one with the sea, one with his beloved one, and one with himself. Apparently, this was all he ever wanted.

            It was Krooks’ duty to shuffle through Maddox’s belongings in search for a will of some sort. While rummaging through Maddox’s belongings, he discovered a parcel in the desk with his name. Krooks opened the parcel to find Maddox’s dream book. The book contained over three hundred pages of the same dream with the same ending each time. It was a hopeful story, but certainly not a rewarding one for our dear Captain. On the last page of the book was a moon, drawn full and bright. Written at the center of the moon was a single phrase: “I am finally awake.”

            Krooks closed the book and stored it in his breast pocket. He walked to the bow where him and Maddox held their last real conversation. He stared out onto the sea. The water sat cold and still. It is always cold and still after a storm, and always will be. This was something that Krooks understood very well. Unfortunately, Maddox had learned this lesson when it was already too late. The sea had claimed another innocent soul and hopefully, this would be the last time Krooks would have to witness it.   

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Why I'm afraid to have kids.

Why this is the greatest video I've ever seen in my entire life:
- The first second makes me question my choice in video selection, the second jumps right into the main idea of the video, it climax's in the third second and it ends with a me tearing in laughter. I imitate the end laugh every single time I see it. UHAHA
- The man has a cleft eye, four chins and a pirate outfit. Its like the Hunchback of Notre Dame meets Pirates of the Caribbean.
- I like to imagine he trapped a rat or something and is calling all members of the ship to view his discovery.
-  When ever I'm down, I can watch this video and think, "at least I'm not a grown man who looks like a Picasso living in the bow of some ship."

I'm a terrible person.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

hot and bitter



           

I guess they all tweeted their last tweets.


As we’ve all heard, heaven and hell are finally dividing into what seems to be the most newsworthy topic in the last decade. I am of course talking about the flocks of birds dropping from the sky in Arkansas and the schools of fish washing up on the shores of everywhere. Many of them religion folk preach that this is an obvious sign that the end of the world is coming. Some other skeptics say that this is all BP’s fault for poisoning the world’s water and air supplies or this is some kind of animal suicide college party gone right. I, however, have done the research, acquired the facts and believe I have found a few solutions to this baffling mystery.
            I believe that these deaths were no coincidence. When you think about this rationally, fish and birds are both kings of their domains; Fish the kings of the sea while the birds rule the skies. So whose the only species that would want these two groups out of the picture? That’s right: the Komodo Dragons. These guys are relatives to the dinosaurs who ruled the earth millions of years ago. The dinosaurs eventually all died out due to overconsumption of fast food and the discovery of cigarettes. Once the dinosaurs were out of the picture, fish and birds were free to fill the new niches (If you don’t know what niche means, then there’s something stomata with you. Some people will get that joke). For millions of years, the lizards have been hiding in the dark, waiting for the perfect time to strike back and assume the role of dominant species.
            Now some of you ask “but how did they do it?” Well some of you need to stop asking so many questions. That was a little joke, but on a serious note, an informant from the deep sea, known simply as “Deeptrout”, has given me some insight into this important question. Fish live in the water, which makes them impervious to many means of death, such as fire and gun wound. Therefore, there is only one logical solution as to how the fish were murdered: drowning. As for the birds, this modus operandi continues to be a mystery, however I like to think it’s the pill party theory. That one’s silly.
            As for the Komodo Dragons, I believe they will begin mobilizing soon, possibly allying with the Nazi party and Satan. I believe our only solution is to bomb all the lizards of the world with nuclear bombs. Maybe then, we can all start worrying about things that matter like political majority in the senate or the dying population of Haiti. Or maybe next time, I just wont eat pills I find lying randomly around my house. I’m going to go with that one.